Love Online:
A guide for cyber-dating!
It's not so different out here in cyber space as it is in that other world. The emotion is real, no matter how you are connected. There are some, which are resistant to the idea that any type of real or meaningful relationship can ever be realized online, and for them that may very well be true. Those same people wouldn't be able to have an intimate relationship with a pen pal, or via long distance phone calls either. My personal theory is that some people are unable to communicate without a physical presence. They can't express themselves, nor understand well enough, without the physical clues we all use to communicate normally. Since they are unable to communicate effectively they tend to assume that no one else can either, more the pity, because it is a big wonderful world out there, and the internet provides the opportunity to connect with more people from more places than ever before. That all being said, here are some tips for making it online:
Be honest with yourself:
Ask yourself what it is you are really looking for. Are you looking for a possible mate, or just a good time? Do you want a fully mutual monogamous relationship, or something a lot more casual? Are you willing to invest yourself into making things work, or are you looking for a low maintenance relationship. Sure its possible to change your mind as things progress, but you need to know where you are at before you can even begin to map where your going.
Be honest with them:
Oh yeah, this is a biggy¼ especially online. One of my lady friends told me one time that it seems like every guy I meet on line is 6'2 and 180 lbs., perfectly fit and a full head of hair. It's not just physical characteristics that I am talking about here though. It's your likes and dislikes, your wants and desires, your dream and aspirations. Some people look at being online as an opportunity to assume any persona they want. That's true, but in the long run, you will still only be yourself. If someone falls in love with that persona you so carefully crafted, they will be sorely disappointed when they meet the real you. Don't bother, be yourself.
Be Open
One of the ways that you can overcome the inadequacies of not being able to have the physical clues to communications is to be more open with your feelings and emotions. Normally we receive a lot of our emotional communications based on body language and expressions. If you want to really connect with someone online, open up emotionally and talk honestly about your feelings. If you do, you will quickly realize the other person is more likely to reciprocate, and you will be on your way to a unique experience.
Have Fun
Don't be so concerned about what is happening, or what you are doing that you forget to have fun. If it's not fun, you will lose interest in it and so will they. Enjoy yourself, talk about things that are interesting. Discover what is interesting to them. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
Learn the lingo
Whether you are exchanging emails or chatting, there is an evolving online lingo. A sort of shorthand so to speak. I'm not going to list them here, because I think it is much better for you to learn them as you go, IMHO. One of the easiest ways to start a conversation in a chat room that I have found, is to ask someone privately what a certain expression means, people usually like to share what they know, and if you ask nice most will respond nice. But do learn the lingo, and use it¼ it's like expanding your vocabulary to allow you to communicate and understand more effectively. Soon, you will have them all ROFL.
You are your words
All anyone will know about you is how you express yourself and conduct yourself. They don't have anything else to go by. So your words and how you present them become extremely important. Spelling and grammar is less important than ideas and content. I think most people online are pretty forgiving about spelling and grammar. Write like you talk. Don't try to use words that you wouldn't normally use in conversation. If you say ain't¼. write ain't.